"Speak the Truth in Love" — Ephesians 4:15

"My people perish for want of knowledge! Since you have rejected knowledge, I will reject you from My priesthood; since you have ignored the law of your God, I will also ignore your sons." —Hosea 4:6

Contrary to the old saying, what we don't know will definitely hurt us. We perish for lack of knowledge of God and the things of God. In this book, we proclaim the truth in areas where our lack of knowledge has hurt us badly. We present these teachings in the form of questions and answers because this is how simple, everyday people often bring up their concerns. We respect the ways and the wisdom of the average people.

What's the problem?

"I am." This is the answer of G.K. Chesterton and the wise men and women of all times. Even if we're not the cause of a particular problem, we're still the problem in that we don't have the power to live a free life. Paul taught: "I cannot even understand my own actions. I do not do what I want to do but what I hate" (Rm 7:15). "The desire to do right is there but not the power" (Rm 7:18). The Church teaches: "Ignorance of the fact that man has a wounded nature inclined to evil gives rise to serious errors in the areas of education, politics, social action and morals" (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 407).

Our weak, fallen, wounded nature is not an insurmountable problem only because Jesus has saved us and given us a new nature. However, our fallen nature will be the problem, even after we have been baptized, if we rely on our willpower and not on the Lord's grace. Of course, we must make an act of the will not to deal with life ourselves but to accept God's grace to let the Lord do it (see Lk 1:38). Paul cried out: "What a wretched man I am! Who can free me from this body under the power of death?" (Rm 7:24). The answer is not: "I will free myself." The answer to life's problem is: Jesus — the amazing grace of Jesus.

Table of Contents

Section I — Sexual Purity

Section II — Family Life

Section III — Freedom In Christ

Section I — Sexual Purity

The following questions are related to sexual matters. There are many questions in this area because our sexuality is important in the integration of our personality (see Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 2337, 2340) and because many people have fallen into sexual sins.

How can I stop masturbating?

1. First, know that masturbation is wrong (see CCC, 2352). Also know that by God's grace you can overcome every temptation. Finally, know that masturbation will rob you of precious revelation about God's plan for your life. Therefore, the temptation to masturbate is vicious and not to be taken lightly, but resisted militantly.

2. Pray daily for the grace to overcome the temptation to masturbate. Pray both for the strength to overcome this temptation and the willingness to accept this strength.

3. Ask another Christian of the same sex to pray for you daily for two weeks. After two weeks, ask that person to pray daily for another two weeks. Every couple of days, tell your prayer-partner how you are doing in accepting God's grace to overcome the temptation to masturbate. This gives you both the strength of another Christian's prayers and low-key accountability.

(For more on this subject, order our booklet, The Bible on Sex.)

Some statistical studies show that those who engage in premarital sex have more than an 80% chance of divorce. Why is this?

Sex outside of marriage is an act of disobedience against God, except for those ignorant of God's will, human nature, and human relationships. Even those too ignorant to disobey God in this matter do great harm to themselves and others by having sex outside of marriage. Sex outside of marriage excludes God. Without God's presence, love, and power, sexual relations are very different than they would have been if God were included. Sex in disobedience to God gives to those sexually involved a warped idea of sex, themselves, love and marriage. As the relationship continues, this warp becomes worse resulting in hurts, rejection, broken hearts, shattered persons, self-hatred, compulsive behavior, violence, and other destructive behavior. "Safe sex" is extremely dangerous and self-destructive.

What hope is there for those who have had premarital sex?

First, those who have committed this sin must repent and go to Confession. After Confession, they should ask Jesus to break the bond due to sexual relations outside of marriage (see 1 Cor 6:15-16). Next, they should give themselves several months to be healed. They should break off with the person with whom they have been sexually involved. This may be painful, but it is necessary for healing and is much less painful than what will happen if the relationship continues. They should not date anyone, make major decisions, or take on heavy responsibilities. They need to live a more simple and quiet life of healing.

If the persons involved in premarital sex are engaged, the engagement should be broken. This may seem extreme, but engaged couples, who have entered into marriage without giving themselves time to heal, prove over and over the destructive folly of proceeding with the marriage.

If the persons who were involved in premarital sex have already married each other, the married couple should consider their marriage in a state of emergency. They may feel they are healed of the damaging effects of premarital sex, but this assessment has proven to be wrong most of the time. Married couples in this situation should reach out for Christian counseling before their marital crisis becomes more obvious. They should pray together daily and talk with each other more frequently and more deeply. They should have sex less until they have received enough healing to see sex, themselves, and marriage in a new, Christ-centered way.

What's wrong with artificial contraception?

Artificial contraception contradicts the divinely ordained meaning of marital relations. Sex in marriage is for total self-giving to the other spouse and total acceptance of him or her. For a wife to give herself to her husband without giving her fertility is not a total gift of herself. This warps and trivializes the meaning of sex and marriage. For a husband to reject the fertility of his wife is an insult. He acts as if one of his wife's greatest God-given gifts is a liability. He insults God by implying that his wife was created wrongly, that she is "too" fertile and fruitful.

Moreover, some forms of artificial contraception are abortifacient. They don't prevent conception but help parents kill their own children. Pope John Paul II has taught: "It is being demonstrated in an alarming way by the development of chemical products, intrauterine devices and vaccines which, distributed with the same ease as contraceptives, really act as abortifacients in the very early stages of the development of the life of the new human being" (The Gospel of Life, 13).

Artificial contraception severely disrupts the physical and spiritual ecology of your health, your relationship with the Lord, your relationship with your spouse. You trust God less, give less of yourself to your spouse, and feel worse physically and psychologically.

(For more teaching, order our leaflet, Birth-Control.)

What problems arise after a sterilization, such as a tubal ligation or vasectomy?

Sterilization is an insult against God Who created us. Sterilization is the mutilation of ourselves and therefore an attack on ourselves. Because our sexuality is an important integrating factor in our personality, sterilization is not only a physical problem but a psychological and spiritual catastrophe. The human body and person is a very intricate ecological system. A sterilization is like spilling a thousand gallons of oil into a lake. Not only is the water polluted but the fish, plant life, wildlife, air, etc. are seriously affected.

Those who have been sterilized should consult with a pro-life doctor to see whether the sterilization can be reversed. If you are told that the sterilization cannot be reversed, seek a second opinion.

If your sterilization cannot be reversed, try to restore some order to your sexuality. Repent, ask others to pray for you to be healed, and use the insights of natural family planning to restore some order to your marital relations. This may not completely restore the ecological balance to your life, but it will be an improvement.

How do I help someone be freed from the sin of committing homosexual acts?

First, make sure the person knows the truth about homosexuality and homosexual acts (see CCC, 2357-2359). Our society is condemning to slavery and self-hatred those with homosexual tendencies by confusing them and refusing them treatment instead of telling them the truth in love (Eph 4:15). It is questionable if anyone has homosexual tendencies from conception. But, even if this is so, the person with homosexual tendencies needs to live a celibate, pure life. For example, some babies are conceived with a cocaine addition. But this doesn't mean they should live as cocaine addicts. Persons with homosexual tendencies need to know and love Christ so much that they will let Christ heal them or give them the grace to carry the cross of sexual abstinence.

If persons have been involved in a homosexual life-style, they may need deliverance in addition to healing. Satan hates God and God's creation. Satan revels in the unnatural (see Jude 7), not only the unnaturalness of homosexual acts, but also artificial contraception, oral and anal sex, and pornography. In unnatural sins, there is more likelihood of the devil harassing, obsessing, or possessing those who are sinning. However, we have the authority in Christ to drive out demons (Mt 10:1; Mk 16:17).

(For more teaching, order our booklet, Living in Reality.)

Does the Church say that oral sex as foreplay in marital relations is OK?

No, the Church has never said anything officially on this. So the Church has not said oral sex followed by vaginal sex is OK, nor has the Church said it is not OK. In this case we must apply basic moral principles without the help of the Church's specific guidance. In all marital relations, each spouse should have a profound respect for the other. All marital relations should ex-press the total self-giving of the spouses to each other. Therefore, lust, which by definition focuses on self-gratification, is contradictory to love. Also, the natural functions of our bodies should be respected; so unnatural acts are wrong. Applying these principles, I believe that oral sex in marriage is wrong and sows seeds of destruction which will eventually undermine a marriage. Because of this, pastors and caring people should bring up this subject rather than let spouses sow the seeds of destruction in their marriages.

If I have committed adultery, should I tell my spouse?

After repenting and going to Confession, usually spouses should ask their spouses to forgive them for committing adultery. This will break the spouses' hearts, but the Lord will give the grace to forgive. The Lord wants all marriages to be great; and marriages do not grow into greatness when couples keep secrets from each other.

Section II — Family Life

The following questions touch on many aspects of family life. Because families are so important in God's plan, we should try to know everything possible about the details of family life.

How can I make my marriage better?

Pray together daily with your spouse. Even if you pray only the "Our Father" for a minute, praying as a couple daily at home will be a great blessing for your marriage. A study done in 1985 substantiates this: "Almost 50% of marriages in the USA resulted in divorce. Of the couples that went to church together every Sunday, only 2% became divorced. Furthermore, only one couple out of 1,105 were divorced if they prayed as a couple regularly at home" (Living in Reality, Presentation Ministries, sec 3c. page 26).

How can I lead my husband to Christ?

Your husband has "only to observe the reverent purity of your way of life" (1 Pt 3:2). Your husband will be given great opportunities to come to Christ by your conduct (1 Pt 3:1) and the hidden character of your "heart, expressed in the unfading beauty of a calm and gentle disposition" (1 Pt 3:4). Because you have become one in marriage with your husband, he will be affected significantly by God transforming you.

How can I lead my wife, children or parents to Christ?

We lead people to Christ by living in Christ and in the relationships Christ has given us. For example, husbands lead their wives to Christ by being faithful husbands who lead and love their wives by laying down their lives for them (Eph 5:25). Parents lead children to Christ by being parents who evangelize and make disciples of their children. As parents nurture, correct, protect, guide, teach, and suffer for their children, they will lead them to Christ. Children lead parents to Christ by honoring and obeying their parents — even under less than ideal circumstances. We lead people to Christ by being very faithful in our God-given relationships.

(For more teaching on this subject, order our pamphlets, Leading Your Loved Ones to Christ and How to Get Your Kids to go to Church and to Heaven.)

What do I do if my husband abuses me?

If there is physical abuse to the extent that you or your children are in danger, then you should temporarily separate. You should not be separating in bitterness but in forgiveness. You are not separating to get a divorce but to make it clear that your husband must repent, turn to Jesus, and get help.

If there is verbal or emotional abuse to the extent that you or your children are not only being hurt but traumatized, then you should temporarily separate for the same reasons mentioned above.

If the abuse is not clearly such as to require a separation, you don't want to maintain the status quo. Rather you want to change things by God's power and not by expressing your frustrations so as to provoke your husband. "Wives should be submissive to their husbands as if to the Lord" (Eph 5:22). Wives should willingly do the wishes of their husbands, except when their wishes are contrary to God's will as expressed through the Church and her Bible. (All of us must be submissive to God first.) However, husbands who are abusive will usually require something of their wives which is immoral. Often they will expect their wives to artificially contracept, go against their consciences by engaging in oral sex or other perversions (see our pamphlet, Oral Sex In Marriage), have sex with them when they are under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, dress immodestly, lie for them, miss Sunday Mass, etc. Wives in an abusive marriage should defy their husbands who expect them to disobey God. This defiance will result in the wife having no choice but to leave, the husband deciding to leave, or the husband repenting. By defiant obedience, we bring down strongholds, demolish sophistries, and make every thought captive to Jesus (2 Cor 10:4-6).

I am upset about my adult children not going to Church and not living a Christian life. What should I do?

First of all, cast all your cares on the Lord, for He cares for you (1 Pt 5:7). Don't take responsibility for your children's lives. Let Jesus be the Lord of your whole life and of this situation. Take the children out of your hands and put them in His hands. From now on you don't do what you think best for your children and when you think it should be done. Jesus is in charge. You don't ask Him to help you, but you ask Him when He wants your help with your children. He will probably tell you to pray, fast, speak, work, and suffer. He may give you a word of prophecy to penetrate your children's hearts. He will tell you to forgive and love your children. He will ask you to pray that He send people into your children's lives to lead them to Him. Especially, He will tell you to be joyful, thankful, and confident. He is God. He can do all things. Your children are in the best hands.

How can I discern God's will for my life or help others know their vocations?

If we seek first God's kingdom, everything else, including our vocations, will be given to us (Mt 6:33). More specifically, we can usually evangelize our way into our vocations. As we zealously share our faith, our vocations will become more and more obvious. Pope John Paul II has taught that all vocations are from, in and to the Church (I Will Give You Shepherds, 35). As we live in the Church in a practical way through Christian community, we will know our vocations.

Finally, we pray our way into our vocations. Praying an hour a day before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament almost always results in knowing and doing God's will. It is also very helpful to pray with our parents, especially our fathers. We should try to do this regularly to discern our vocations and for many other reasons. Moreover, we should pray with our parents throughout our lives and not only when we are young children living at home.

Should I insist on my kids going to Mass?

You should not force your kids to go to Mass daily or even frequently, but you should insist that they go to Mass on Sunday. You should also insist that they pray a few minutes daily with your family. This minimal "forcing" of your children gives them the opportunities to obey God, respect your authority, grow in discipline, contribute to family life, and repent. They are forced to do much more against their will in job situations and on athletic teams.

What guidelines should I put on my children dating?

Dating, as it is usually thought of in our culture, should be abolished. Dating has proven to be an effective way of programming people for divorce, marital unfaithfulness, brokenness, slavery, and defeat. With our fallen nature and in our warped culture, it is unrealistic to expose people to repeated, intense, sexual temptations and expect them to respect and love the persons to whom they are attracted. People should spend time with the opposite sex through group activities and by one-to-one meetings in public places. People, not only young people, should not be alone in private with a person of the opposite sex. This may seem extreme, but no other approach has proven to be successful in helping people get to know deeply those to whom they are attracted. Modifying current dating patterns has proven to be a failure. Only the abolishing of dating as we know it will help us live faithful, free, pure and victorious lives. Believe what I'm telling you, or you will be experimenting with your children's lives, love, and hearts.

What do parents do if their children are living with their boyfriends or girlfriends?

Forgive and love your children. Speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15). Ask the Lord to give you a prophetic word that will pierce their hearts. Keep reaching out to your child and even to their boyfriend or girlfriend, but don't go to their house or apartment. Don't have them come to your house together. Relate to them as individuals, not as a couple. If they refuse your individual attention and try to force you into accepting their lives of fornication or adultery, don't be manipulated into making a change. Keep reaching out to them on an individual basis. Most of all, pray in confidence and thanksgiving. Fix your eyes on Jesus (Heb 12:2).

My adult children living at home stay out half the night and do whatever they want. Should I give them orders? What do I do if they won't listen to me?

Your home should not be a boarding house or a motel. It should be the center for your family life. Make simple, reasonable rules for all in the family, including yourself. To be a family in Christ, the family should go to Mass together at least on Sunday, eat together at least a couple of times a week, pray together daily at least for a moment, and obey a few rules for the sake of order and harmony in the family.

If adult children refuse to accept these simple aspects of family life, they have chosen at that time not to be in the family, and, because you're not running a motel, they must leave within a short time. If your adult children leave, don't think you have forced them to leave. They have chosen not to be part of your family life. They are responsible for leaving. If they later ask to come back to your family home, they should not stay for more than a few days unless they agree to obey the basic requirements for family life.

What should I do if my adult child wants to bring home for a visit his homosexual or heterosexual partner?

The question is not simply about homosexuality or even sexuality. You should not allow anything in your home that would condone sin. You should not allow profanity, pornography, racist comments, illegal drug use, or any other sins to be committed or condoned in your home.

I am upset that my grandchildren aren't baptized. What should I do?

Some grandparents secretly baptize their grandchildren. Although their reasons for doing this are well-intentioned, this is not compatible with what the Lord has revealed to us about Baptism through His Church and its Bible.

Sometimes grandparents work with their grandchildren in teaching them the faith and praying with them. They hope this will open them to Baptism when they are older. This, of course, is a good idea. But don't give up on your children and work only with the grandchildren. No matter how stubborn they are, the Lord is working to lead them to Him. Pray that the Lord will give you a prophetic, penetrating word to speak to your children. Pray for the Lord to send people into their lives to share the Gospel. Pray, fast, and suffer for the Lord to break down the barriers to grace in your children's lives. Pope John Paul II has taught: "It is suffering, more than anything else, which clears the way for the grace which transforms human souls" (On The Christian Meaning of Human Suffering, 27).

Should Catholics go to the weddings of family members marrying outside the Catholic Church?

A Catholic can receive permission to marry in a church building other than a Catholic church. But, if the couple has not asked for and received this permission, you should not go to the wedding.

Marriage can only be lived in true love by God's power. God has chosen to grace Catholics with His power for marriage through the Church. Therefore, Catholics married outside the Church will not have what it takes to live their marriages as God intends. This will make their marriages hurtful, painful, and frustrating. If you love someone, you don't want to be part of something that will hurt them. Therefore, you should not go to the wedding.

Write the couple to share with them the reasons for not coming. In the letter emphasize Jesus, the Church, the grace needed for marriage, and your love for the couple.

Often the couple is not maliciously rebelling against the Church. They often don't know Christ, His Church, or how He works through His Church in marriage. Consequently, the couple will probably not understand how this marriage will hurt them. However, what the couple doesn't know will still hurt them. Because you know the truth, your love for them prevents you from being a part of something harmful to this couple. You love them too much to go to the wedding.

Section III — Freedom in Christ

Jesus came to free the captives (Lk 4:18). He is our Redeemer. The following questions stem from the multifaceted freedom we have in Christ.

How can I be free in this "culture of death"?

Only Jesus Christ can free us. "If the Son frees you, you will really be free" (Jn 8:36). Christ frees us through Baptism and through the constant graces by which we live. He frees us and gives us the power to free others from the "culture of death," especially by calling us to pray and fast. Pope John Paul II has taught: "Jesus Himself has shown us by his own example that prayer and fasting are the first and most effective weapons against the forces of evil (cf Mt 4:1-11). As He has taught His disciples, some demons cannot be driven out except in this way (cf Mk 9:29). Let us therefore discover anew the humility and courage to pray and fast so that power from on high will break down the walls of lies and deceit" (The Gospel of Life, 100).

How can I be free from the erosion of faith so common in our secular humanistic society?

Pope John Paul II has taught that only by abiding in God's word (see Jn 8:31) will we be freed from being conditioned by influences contrary to Christianity (I Will Give You Shepherds, 26). However, one of the worst effects of secular humanism is spiritual anorexia. We become so stuffed with worldly things that we lose our appetite for the things of the Spirit (Prv 13:19), including the nourishment we receive from God's word (see Mt 4:4). Consequently, we must get into God's word before secular humanism gets to us. If we have already become spiritually anorexic, we must turn to the Lord and ask Him to intervene before we lose all faith in Him. The Lord will often save us from spiritual anorexia and the erosion of our faith by raising up Christians who love us enough to suffer for us, prophesy to us, and intercede for us. In this way, the Lord breaks open our hearts hardened and jaded by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Then we devour God's word (Jer 15:16) and grow in faith rather than lose our faith.

I am tempted almost constantly. Can I lessen the number of temptations I face?

First of all, we should not be upset by large numbers of temptations. Temptations are part of our human condition. They are not sins but opportunities for grace and victory in Jesus.

We are tempted by our flesh, the world, and the devil. We can lessen the temptations from the flesh by avoiding occasions of sin as much as possible. (See the next question.) We can lessen the temptations from the world by living our lives in Christian community and not in the isolation and independence typical of our secular culture. We lessen the temptations from the devil by taking the offensive against him. Every time the devil tempts us we should try to do something to further Christ's kingdom. For example, we can share our faith with someone, serve someone in Christ's love, or intercede for many people to be converted. Don't let the devil have free temptations. Give him something to lose when he tempts you.

How can I avoid being an occasion of sin to others?

Each Christian needs to understand that people differ and the Lord does not work with everyone in exactly the same way. For example, you may be graced by the Lord to control your drinking of alcohol. However, others are not called by the Lord to control their alcohol consumption but to abstain from alcohol altogether. Little children and some other people go swimming as a form of recreation. However, many people, especially men but including women, find people in swimsuits to be a serious occasion of sin. In conclusion, to avoid being an occasion of sin to others we must resist temptations to sin and also give up even some pleasures which, although legitimate for us, could be a temptation for others. We should not guess and gamble in this matter. If we are not sure that there is no chance of something being an occasion of sin to others, we should avoid it. We need the attitude of Paul. He said: "If food causes my brother to sin I will never eat meat again, so that I may not be an occasion of sin to him" (1 Cor 8:13).

How can I be freed from compulsive behavior?

If Jesus sets us free, we are truly free (Jn 8:36). Jesus sets us free by calling us to prayer, wisdom and Christian community.

When we pray about our compulsive behavior, the Lord will reveal the cause of the problem and lead us to repentance. He will also show us how much or how little we want to be free. In prayer, the Lord will teach us both about His powerful love and our inner selves. An ideal prayer for freedom is the blessing for those addicted. This blessing is found in the Church's Book of Blessings.

Jesus frees us by giving us the power to control our desires or to abstain from fulfilling some of them. It is very important to know how Jesus wants to work. For example, many people have tried for years to control their TV viewing only to realize eventually that the Lord was gracing them to not watch the first program. (For more teaching on this, order our pamphlet, TV Addiction).

Occasionally, the Lord gives us the power to overcome compulsive behavior by ourselves, but He usually wants to work through the members of His body, the Church. Thus, we must have the humility to reach out to others and ask for help. We have the best opportunity for freedom if we reach out not just to a group of caring people but to a Christian community.

(See our booklet, Introduction to Small Christian Communities.)

Is it OK to buy lottery tickets, play bingo, or gamble in other ways?

The Church has not condemned gambling as long as gamblers do not gamble to excess (see CCC, 2413). But this should not be taken as an endorsement of gambling.

One of the major problems with gambling is its theological implications. Most gamblers believe there is such a thing as chance or luck, but this is a denial of the total providence of our all-knowing Father. Some gamblers think God makes them win, but this is a questionable and possibly an even unhealthy perception of God the Father. Would God the Father provide for His children by rewarding their gambling? If God isn't the cause of a gambler winning, then who is? Unless the game is fixed, human beings don't affect who wins or loses. If God and human beings don't cause gamblers to win or lose, then Satan and his demons are the only other possibilities.

(For more teaching on this subject, see our pamphlet, Gambling.)

I have tried unsuccessfully for years to stop gossiping. How can I stop?

When Jesus was tempted, He quoted the Scriptures (Mt 4:4, 7, 10). Memorize several Scriptures related to the godly use of our tongues.

When you hear someone gossiping, don't just walk away or be quiet but gently correct the person.

Ask the Lord to purify your heart. Our words come from our hearts (Lk 6:45); so gossip is a problem of the heart.

Try to repair the damage done by gossip to a person's name. Publicly repent of gossiping. In the same setting, if possible, say good things about the people you previously said bad things about.

If I forgot to mention a sin in Confession or if I'm not sure if I've brought up a sin in Confession, am I forgiven?

Yes, "when Christ's faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon" (CCC, 1456). As long as we do not intentionally refuse to bring up a sin in Confession, we are forgiven all our sins. If we can't remember if we have confessed a sin, it is reasonable to presume that we did not intentionally refuse to mention it. Therefore, we are forgiven. If we confessed our sins without sufficient clarity or detail, we are still forgiven as long as we did not intentionally refuse to answer honestly any questions from the confessor. If we remember a sin that we are sure we have not confessed, we may confess it, although it is forgiven. This may be a way for God to give us more healing and freedom. However, we should never confess a sin committed prior to our last good Confession if we are doubting whether the Lord forgave us. Rather, we should believe the Lord speaking through the Church, her Bible, and our confessor. We are forgiven! Let us rejoice with all the angels and saints (Lk 15:7, 10) and thank the Lord for His shed blood, saving death, and great mercy.

How can I stop feeling guilty, sometimes even after I've repented and confessed my sins?

The main way to not feel guilty is to not be guilty.

However, if we have sinned and we have a properly formed conscience, we will feel guilty almost immediately after sinning, if not during sinning. A good conscience helps us have quick guilt, quick repentance, and then no guilt.

If we still feel guilty after repenting and confessing our sins, we should not confess the forgiven sins again in the Sacrament. By faith we should refuse to doubt that God the Father has forgiven us. We should thank our Father for forgiving us, even if we don't feel forgiven.

Our false guilt may indicate we need healing. However, if we are still burdened by guilt after a few days of receiving others' prayers for healing, we should ask Jesus and the Holy Spirit to reveal to us the Father's love and mercy towards us. A deep awareness of our Father's personal love for us will dispel false guilt.

(For more on this topic see our leaflet: Guilt, Guilt Trips and Scrupulosity.)

I have too much to do. I feel bad and sometimes overwhelmed by all the things I need to do. What do I do?

Give your whole life to Jesus. This means you don't own your life. You become Jesus' servant, even His slave. Then the only thing you have to do is His will. You don't have to meet your expectations or anyone else's. When you work for Jesus, He always gives you the time, energy, money and wisdom to do His will. "They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagle's wings; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint" (Is 40:31).

Why be so concerned about morality?

Morality is part of holiness. Holiness means choosing life and love. For example, holiness and morality can make the difference whether or not a person is created. They can determine whether a newly conceived human being is allowed to live. Holiness and morality prevent broken hearts and broken marriages. Holiness and morality translate into faithfulness and true love.


Nihil obstat: Reverend Ralph J. Lawrence, April 29, 1999.
Imprimatur: † Most Reverend Bishop Carl Moeddel, Vicar General and Auxiliary Bishop of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, May 3, 1999.